I’m Addicted to Peeing on a Stick
The pscyhological dangers of testing for pregnancy too early.
‘A line is a line,’ I remembered reading. ‘If you see a line, you are definitely pregnant.’
It was four days before my period was due and there was most definitely a faint purple line. It was our first time trying for a baby since the miscarriage in November last year. I was so excited I wanted to test right away. It felt like taking a peek at a Christmas present wrapped under the tree. You know you shouldn’t do it and that you’re spoiling the surprise but you just can’t help yourself.
I knew I shouldn’t test early…but I did anyway
So, I did the test. And there it was. The purplish line. Our very first try and we had done it. We had managed to fall pregnant. Christmas was coming.
I felt all the emotions you would expect of someone who had suffered pregnancy loss. Joy. Trepidation. Excitement. Caution. And fear. Oh so much fear. And the fear led me to…more tests. Twice a day for the next four days I peed on plastic sticks, needing to see that line, to get the reassurance that our baby was in there. It had all just seemed too easy. Even though logically I knew that a positive pregnancy test didn’t mean I wouldn’t miscarry again, there was something about…
